


07700 900470

by Dynamia Eromai (Demixian)



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Fandom
Genre: Gen, dont expect HQ writign, warning: i wrote this at midnight on a whim, warning: im continuing this thing now without relying on my usual plans for plot and characters so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2018-12-16 07:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11824254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demixian/pseuds/Dynamia%20Eromai
Summary: 11:30Saturdaytext message from07700 900470 (unknown number)Hey Rose! Got your e-mail. Remember to add me on your new mobile.





	1. Wrong Number

 

11:30

Saturday

 

text message from

**07700 900470**

Hey Rose! Got your e-mail. Remember to add me on your new mobile. 

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

TEXT MESSAGES (1)

 

**07700 900470 (unknown number)**

 

Hey Rose! Got your e-mail. Remember to add me on your new mobile. 

 

Who is this? I think you’ve got a wrong number, haha.

 

Shit.

 

Sorry! My cousin gave me her new phone number, but she must have cocked up somewhere and given me the wrong one.

 

That’s fine, no worries. 

 

CONVERSATION DELETED.

 

1:24

Sunday

 

text message from

**07700 900470**

Hi Dad.

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

TEXT MESSAGES (1)

 

**07700 900470 (unknown number)**

 

Hi Dad. 

 

Nope. Wrong number, friend.

 

Shit, I’ve done this twice in the last two days now.

 

Hang on, I think you’re the same wrong number from last time…

 

Yeah, you are.

 

Fuckin family. They’re terrible @ technology.

 

Haha.

 

DELETE CONVERSATION?

 

CANCEL.

 

 

5:01

Tuesday

 

text message from

**07700 900470**

Hey.

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

TEXT MESSAGES (2)

 

**07700 900470**

 

yesterday at 1:30 pm

 

Yeah, you are.

 

Fuckin family. They’re terrible @ technology.

 

Haha.

 

today

 

 

Guess I forgot to delete you off my phone.

 

Hey.

 

Hey.

 

I’m just… I’m going to be kind of forward here, but basically

 

I don’t have a lot of friends.

 

That’s alright, neither do I. I understand.

 

You don’t?? Oh, good!

 

I mean, not good. Just convenient. 

 

For me.

 

Basically, since I keep wrong numbering you, we might as well chat

 

Like

 

Frequently

 

Is that okay? Or is it weird?

 

That’s fine. 

 

Cool!!!

 

Do you uh… like magic?

 

Are you asking if I’m a wizard?

 

Maybe…

 

Are you a wizard?

 

Possibly.

 

Why are you using a phone if you’re a wizard?

 

I never said I was. Why are you using a phone?

 

Never said I was a wizard either.

 

I’m getting the feeling that we’re both wizards.

 

Merlin’s beard, we might as well be arrested for shattering the statute of secrecy.

 

Do you think the Ministry taps phones?

 

I seriously doubt it.

 

LMAO

 

Listen, I’m actually having  fun right now,  but my dad’s coming upstairs and I’m not supposed to have a phone, so…

 

Bye

 

PHONE LOCKED

 

10:11

Wednesday

 

text message from

**Wrong Number Guy** ✨

Forgive me if I spam you later. I have a lot of Opinions about Things.

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

TEXT MESSAGES (4)

 

**Wrong Number Guy** ✨

 

yesterday at 5:06 pm

 

Listen, I’m actually having  fun right now,  but my dad’s coming upstairs and I’m not supposed to have a phone, so…

 

Bye.

 

Woah, really?

 

How do you get data?

 

…

 

Well, guess you had to shut off haha.

 

Forgive me if I spam you later. I have a lot of Opinions about Things.

 

today

 

I buy it with my pocket money

 

Yeah

 

Haha that’s alright, I don’t have much to do these days. 

 

Do you go to Hogwarts?

 

Yeah!

 

What about you?

 

I’m homeschooled. My dad doesn’t like me being out of the house.

 

Aw, that’s rough.

 

Hogwarts isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, though.

 

Nobody likes me here.

 

I wish I could go to Hogwarts.

 

Then we could actually hang out.

 

Yeah. I think I’d like Hogwarts more if we both went here. Then I’d have at least one friend besides my cousin.

 

There was this whole *thing* last year about that guy from the Wizarding Wars, Voldemort.

 

Something about time travel?

 

I dunno. My dad sorted it out. I was revising for exams at the time so

 

I don’t remember all the details.

 

That sounds so cool!

 

Wish I could have been there to witness that.

 

You hardly missed anything. It’s not like we would have had anything to do w/ it. 

 

We’re just kids after all.

 

We can’t save the world like my dad does on a daily basis.

 

Actually… how old are you?

 

Fifteen.

 

Me too!

 

Cool.

 

By the way, I’ve added you as ‘Wrong Number Guy’ for now, but I’d like to know your name, since we’re exchanging info.

 

 

Sure! I’m Albus. Albus Potter if you want my full name.

 

What

 

Oh my 

 

Shit

 

Shit

 

Haha what is it?

 

Hey?

 

Mate?

 

You there?

 

Hey

 

Hey

 

Hey

 

today at 1:45 am

 

what did i do wrong????

 

PHONE SHUTTING DOWN


	2. Thin Ice

 

8:50

Friday

 

text message from

**albus potter**

why?

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

TEXT MESSAGES (49)

 

**albus potter**

 

 

last wednesday at 1:45 am

 

what did i do wrong????

 

seriously?

 

please

 

hey

 

you seem cool

 

did i say something weird

 

what’s wrong???

 

yesterday at 4:31 am

 

this always happens

 

every time

 

i’m like a glass diamond

 

everyone’s interested at first but they quickly see through me and leave

 

why do i always do this

 

why do i somehow manage to weird out everyone i have some connection with

 

you probably hate me

 

is it because i’m a potter?

 

i get it

 

my dad’s a twat

 

im a twat

 

i don’t know why i even exist

 

nobody likes me

 

even my damn cousin kept giving me the wrong number so she wouldn’t have to text me

 

now you’re gone too

 

i have no friends in the whole world

 

i’ve got a ferret! thats cool!

 

does anybody care???? no

 

nobody cares about me

 

im just some knob from chelsea

 

im not cool like my smooth talking conventionally attractive cousin

 

noooooo im weird because im not an exact replica of my father

 

im weird because i like muggle music

 

im weird because i can’t ride a broom

 

im weird because i don’t care about magic and wands

 

i hope you’re happy

 

in your little bloody

 

home schooled life

 

you don’t need friends at home school

 

because your best friend is your mum!

 

what’s it like, not having to leave your family, the only source of love you’ve ever experienced, for a whole year

 

not having to sleep with arseholes who steal your boxers

 

must be really nice

 

yeah i bet it is

 

i bet you’ve got loads of friends

 

twenty of them, even!

 

get it

 

because

 

you’re only friends

 

are your fingers and toes

 

i’m so tired right now

 

i hate life

 

i hate everything

 

why can i never do anything right

 

why?

 

 

today at 8:50 am

 

Merlin’s fucking beard, mate

 

Look, I’m sorry for freaking out but

 

a bit melodramatic there don’t you think

 

that was rather uncalled for

 

oh lord i’m so sorry

 

i got pissed last night

 

You got pissed?

 

How old are you again

 

Are you supposed to be drinking at your age

 

please mate

 

i didn’t mean any of that

 

i just

 

i dunno

 

i’m going through stuff

 

Well don’t take it out on me

 

I’m sorry for leaving

 

i was scared

 

it won’t happen again, i promise

 

why were you scared?

 

because you’re a potter

 

i don’t bite haha

 

seriously though i understand why you’d dislike me

 

you probably think im going to get you in heaps of trouble like my dad did with his friends

 

oh, the trials and tribulations of having a famous family!

 

lol

 

no i don’t really care about that

 

i’d love a bit of trouble these days honestly

 

but considering i’m a malfoy, i was scared that our heritage would sort of…. put a damper on our newfound friendship

 

However, I believe I have heard quite enough of your opinions about me.

 

I don’t know why I haven’t deleted your number yet.

 

oh no, please don’t!!

 

really mate im so sorry

 

that was uncalled for

 

i promise it will never happen again

 

i promise

 

please don’t delete me you can’t

 

I mean, I can

 

Hypothetically

 

You can’t dictate what I can and cannot do

 

please

 

please don’t 

 

im so sorry

 

I’m only teasing you

 

I understand how hard it must be

 

I went to school, once, too. 

 

Got pulled out almost immediately, due to the bullying

 

you got bullied?

 

aw man im so sorry

 

Don’t be

 

I was the bully

 

What?

 

I was so, so spoilt back then

 

Kept making fun of the boys with crinkled shirts and messy hair

 

Dad got furious

 

Gave me this massive lecture about ’treating people as you’d like to be treated’

 

I get it now but I was so miffed at the time haha

 

Bit rich coming from him I suppose

 

Mr. Big Man, bullying all the little people

 

does he bully you?

 

no

 

never

 

okay good

 

you seem like a good guy

 

even if you were a bit mean back then

 

What’s your name, by the way?

 

Ignoring the Malfoy part

 

I can let that go

 

lmao

 

I’m Scorpius.

 

I’ve already changed your name to ‘Albus’ on my phone.

 

Did you use any emojies?

 

What? No

 

You’ve lost the right to emojies next to your name.

 

Did I used to have an emoji?

 

no.

 

I’ve put a thumbs up for yours

 

nice

 

I identify most with the skull emoji

 

Bloody edge lord.

 

I’m not an edge lord

 

*emo

 

How DARE you?!?

 

*goth

 

That’s better

 

*nerd

 

Well, now you’re just insulting me.

 

*priss

 

*prep

 

*poser

 

*gaylord

 

not funny

 

OH but you can call me a poser

 

there’s a vast difference

 

alright alright

 

sorry

 

didn’t realise you would be offended by that

 

not the point

 

i’m on thin ice aren’t i

 

extremely

 

great

 

i love suspense


	3. Getting Off

 

 

9:00

Wednesday

 

text message from

Al XP

hit me up @al_potter17

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

today at 8:50 am

 

yo

 

check my recent

 

me and rosie went down the chippy and we met georgia so we took a group selfie

 

cor

 

she’s lovely

 

hit me up @al_potter17

 

today at 9:01 am

 

sorry i was making breakfast with dad

 

checking now

 

you’re right

 

what a stunner

 

should i ask her now or is it too soon after the thing

 

i mean she’s right here and the sister’s out of the picture for the mo

 

go on should i

 

probably not

 

too soon i’d say

 

nah go on i should shouldn’t i

 

i mean its sort of perfect

 

well do what you want i don’t mind

 

but i think its too early

 

rubbish

 

im asking her

 

shit

 

wait what do i say

 

i dunno

 

i just went like ‘hey’ awkwardly then stared back down at my phone

 

she’s busy on insta

 

dare i intervene

 

for the last time

 

no

 

im going in

 

well I’ve got work to do

 

text me when you’ve finished making a fool out of yourself

 

\o/wish me luck

 

is that a drowning man

 

fuck you there’s no crossed finger emoji im making do

 

 

today at 9:01 pm

 

scorp

 

scorpio

 

9:15 pm

 

good lad

 

bro

 

mate

 

oi

 

stop wasting your minutes you buffoon what is it

 

we got off

 

what

 

me and georgia

 

we ditched rose and went to hers and we got off

 

got off what? got off a horse? got off a plane???

 

pray speak english

 

well we did it didn’t we

 

did ‘it’?

 

well not IT but like sort of you know

 

no, i don’t know

 

if you’d care to elaborate more eloquently, id be much obliged to listen to your story

 

i suppose you don’t meet many girls when you’re home-schooled

 

i had my mum until she passed

 

there’s the little toddler down the road as well

 

i think she’s called evie or something

 

when you get off with someone

 

it’s like

 

you don’t shag

 

but you almost-shag

 

so like

 

you’re pre-shagging except thats the whole experience

 

it’s all foreplay

 

sounds disappointing

 

not with Georgia

 

i guess so

 

you’ve probably not gotten off with anyone

 

i don’t think i’d like to, if that’s what it is

 

but well done you

 

cheers

 

are you home

 

i am now yeah

 

great

 

check my soundcloud

 

i made a sick clarinet mixtape


	4. Whatever

7:10

Tuesday

 

text message from

**Rose ~**

That’s sweet! x

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

today at 6:50 pm

 

Yeah! He's said a lot about you

 

His new best friend, et cetera

 

He considers me a best friend?

 

I'm flattered

  
I suppose I do feel the same

 

That's sweet! x

 

today at 7:10

 

Oh, I just saw your reply

 

Yeah, it's crazy how close he and I are after such little time

 

How long now?

 

Two months

  
Give or take

 

Your cousin's a very funny lad

 

He's dreadful

 

But I love him

 

I guess

 

I've got him on instagram now

 

He and his new girlfriend are very sweet

 

Do you mind me asking what you look like?

 

Haha not at all

 

[[Attachment: 1 image]](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/06/28/03/35BD42E300000578-0-image-a-7_1467082055857.jpg)

 

Wow

 

LOL xP I know, my hair's so wild

 

It's lovely

 

Like a rose bush

 

Oh, piss off

 

Like I've never heard that one

 

^.^

 

;3

 

 

1:30

Wednesday

 

text message from

**Alfonzo**

whatever

 

PHONE UNLOCKED.

 

yesterday at 10:20 pm

 

Oi

 

Oi

 

Oi

 

Didn't mean to send that three times

 

Oi

 

That was deliberate

 

today at 1:20 am

 

Heyyyyyyyyyy

 

Hello

 

Speak to me

 

Georgia sent me a saucy pic wanna see

 

Oi pick your damn phone up

 

I'm learning long distance magic in DADA now you better pick up or i'll range-hex you

 

stop sleeping you lummox

 

today at 12:20 pm

 

sorry, I passed out

 

are you ignoring me

 

is your phone dead

 

im facetiming georgia now so

 

whatever

 

today at 1:30 pm

 

why would you send me a 'saucy pic' of your girlfriend

 

i was down in Cambridge having lunch with some of dad's friends

 

georgia dumped me

 

oh

 

im sorry al

 

that's a bit shit

 

whatever she was a cunt anyway

 

oh ok

 

alright then

 

so you're good??

 

yeah whatever

 

okay

 

great

 

haha im changing your name on my contacts to 'sadfonzo'

 

okay

 

i wont if it upsets you

 

yeah

 

i dont mind

 

whatever

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this on a whim. loosely inspired by this: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11526399/chapters/25873758 fic. idk.


End file.
